I made up some intentions and goals for the new year and wanted to share them with you.
First, these are not resolutions. Resolutions are hot garbage designed to fail. They are oath-shaped, where a single breakage is a betrayal of a promise made. And so overly ambitious! The only sane outcome is that they fail, which makes it harder to trust our resolutions over time. Resolutions are so poorly designed I almost wonder, do people do them because they secretly want to fail?
Intentions and goals handle turbulence more gracefully. An intention is a guiding star and a goal is a state to move towards. Temporary setbacks don’t impact these so much. There’s no way to tell until the end of the year how successful the intention or goal was, and they can always be picked up again later.
I trust my future self, basically. Anything written here will be joyfully tossed away in favor of whatever seems best at the time. Still, I love lists! So without further ado, here are my intentions and goals, in the style of Sasha’s 2022 post:
I will indulge my need for speed, quietly on an empty highway at night or at the local racetrack. I will strongly consider hiring a coach, then procrastinate because it seems kind of expensive. But if I’m going to go fast, I should learn to do it safely, so I can go faster still.
I will write more embarrassing and ill-advised things on the internet, both shamelessly and full of shame, but bravely. As I continue to not be struck down by lightening, the crowd of inner-editors and filterers will thin out and I will find new, better jobs. Many things I post will flop. The ones that I toss out casually will be acclaimed, to my dismay. I’ll tweet my little heart out.
My knee and foot pains will decline in favor of new, more interesting problems. I will try things, from strengthening my hip and ankle muscles with bellydancing, expanding my awareness with the Alexander technique, some mystery intervention, or just accepting my fate and focusing on other things that are easier to change.
I’ll hang out in a big house full of my favorite people at least a couple weeks this year. We will do whatever seems fun and right. There will be guitar and singing. This is a promise and is not a goal or intention.
I will challenge myself and grow in a direction I’ve neglected. It’s probably in some blind spot, or I’d have worked on it by now. I’ll think to myself a couple times, “ah, this is where I need to go,” and be very wrong.
I will do less than I could, and will not push my limits as much as I have in the past. I’ll listen more to my body’s urgings to slow down and rest, lest the body strike me down with illness when I ignore it. I’ll make progress figuring out which foods make me feel good and which ones give me headaches and lethargy. I will drink less coffee, but just enough to keep up my routine.
I will take small sufferings more seriously. Even small sufferings are worth listening to and caring for. And those are probably more tractable, too!
I will pet animals more often.
I will look at tiktok as much as is healthy and joyful, no more, and no less. Haha, this is a lie, I know I will use it more than that. It is a solution to a problem that I don’t quite understand yet. But I hope I might use it a little less than before, as I find new ways of coping with the malaise of being alone with myself.
I will judge people a little less. And myself, too. Or at least judge everyone in a more humorous and positive way.
I’ll chip away at the quagmire of self-doubt and not feeling good enough, carefully and kindly.